Zombie Apocalypse – Preparing Your Business

Sunset arrives and your afternoon nap went a little long. Suddenly you launch yourself from the couch and hurriedly begin closing your shutters using the new bolts you located on Amazon, which also introduced its latest product; Zombie Preparedness Kits; complete with HK1 hydrokinetic adjustable wrench that you never knew you needed until now.  With local distribution centers, you need not wait 43-days, the new UPS-Ground delivery time from the West Coast.  It avoids most cemeteries where the undead are mostly concentrated.

Your shoe closet is worthless. The boxes are great for your kids new hobby of collecting and burying reanimated human digits that squirm on the ground; one of the creepiest normalities of this new world.  Prada’s sales have plummeted, while Zappos more practical Kevlar boots and thick leather mid-calf selections are flying off the virtual shelf.   Everything has changed.  Graphic novelists now became useful, hired as consultants because who else knows more about reanimated human life forms?  This is was one of the millions of ways uninfected men and women needed to reinvent themselves.

The CDC.gov document was prophetic, as was the reportedly fictional work published by the Weather Channel.  They were ready.  Those who didn’t adapt digitally were eaten alive. Literally.  Fortifications needed to be strengthen, food needed to be hoarded, and e-business became competitive to the extreme.  Why?  Clothing racks are great hidy-holes for mindless “Walkers” eager to eat your brains.

Smart businesses prepared early, using SEO strategies with key words like Brain Delicacies, Undead, cross bow, and throwing axes.  Knowing how to play ball, they saw the trends before-hand and coded their sites appropriately.  Security features didn’t just deal with PCI compliance, but maintained new rules on delivery men, including those who rode shotgun. Old school sites were still optimized for Gangnam Style queries; laughably useless in days like this.

Analytics and trend analysis has now saved many lives, feeding families with profits earned by businesses ahead of the horde.  But even if there were not zombies, they would have been ready.  Still – it’s not too late for you.

If you are thinking about how growing trends could impact your market then you have made your first step in staying ahead of the horde.  Zombies or no, the tide is moving and you need to get on board.


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